The Let Down

I recently got to talk to Jon Egan. He has written some powerful worship songs and is truly gifted in what he does. He and a couple of his friends were at our church, just spending some time ministering to the people in our worship ministry.

It was good.

Now, two days later, I’m up at 4 AM getting ready to go to work.

I was excited. I could hear the voice of God speaking to me, encouraging me in all that I do with the kids at our church. I was inspired with new ideas, reminded of old ideas, and just sensed God’s presence with me.

Then I returned to the work of scheduling, song choices, technical difficulties that need to be addressed.

The inspiration that God gives us, the moments when we see Him so clearly, do not replace the disciplines of walking out His calling, the daily grind of taking up our cross. But in the discipline, the work, the habits of faith and joy that can only be developed over years, we find the reality of His truth, His love, His faithfulness.

I have known those who would try to string together enough “God moments”, worship experiences, inspired teaching to keep themselves at a spiritual high for weeks. They would always crash. Just like chemical or physical highs, they are never meant to be sustained. Our bodies do not do well looking for the next “fix”.

Look for the mountains in your walk with Jesus. They are powerful, emotional moments that awaken us. Then walk through the valleys. Love the moments of each day. Breathe in, breathe out. Live.

He is with you.

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Take the Long Way

My wife and I rush most of the places we go to.  We’re always just a bit behind.  But lately, I’m having trouble wanting it anymore.  So much of my life has been about the destination, getting there.  But many of the more recent nights, I’m finding myself just enjoying the sound of her voice.  I like talking to her too but I really like to hear her.

I’m wondering whether God’s purpose for my life is not so much about what I get to be when I grow up but the time we spent on the way.  The old Jewish people said it best.  “May the dust of your Rabbi always cover you (or something like that).”  They meant that we are to walk so closely with our teacher, spend so much time in his presence, that his dust covers us.

I’m questioning so much of my life right now.  A lot of “what ifs” are bouncing around in my head. What if no one reads my work, or cares that I existed?  Through it all, I have a feeling that I might be doing something right by simply talking to God, pursuing Him, listening for His voice, bringing my fears and failures to Him.

I think, in the end, when I hear, “well done.”  It will not be because I did something great.  It will be because I held His hand.

And that’s actually, really cool.