Stop Being A Jerk

A simple command that doesn’t require too much thought.  Added to this is hearing it from God.  Not the start you want to your day.

I was complaining.  Again.

Things go wrong in my life.  Things that I thought would happen just don’t happen.  I struggle with sin.  I fall and get back up.  And then I wrestle with depression and guilt.  I feel so distant from my wife, my kids, my God.  Why Lord? 

Then I’m swearing at the guy who just cut me off.  I’m angry and sullen all day at work, every moment wishing I could quit this place and do something meaningful.  And the really sad part is that this is a familiar pattern.  I swing on this pendulum fairly often and you’d think I’d just get off this ride, but no.  Here I am again.  Wondering why God hasn’t come through for me.  Questioning why God allowed me on this earth.

Then His answer comes.  He actually couched it in terms that I won’t use here because I don’t want to offend.  But he speaks to me through words I can understand and relate to.  His voice was no less loving than at other times.  There was nothing of disappointment or condemnation.  He was just being straight with me.  I love that about my King.

And what is the truth?  I was being a jerk.  I know better but I was pouting, having my little temper tantrums, saying things that do not honor him, hating.  And what do I expect?  A miraculous light to shine down on me and all bad attitudes, imperfect thoughts, humanity is removed.  The saint, who is Matt Hawkins, shines forth in glory.  And all that is, was, wrong can be laid squarely at the feet of my choices.  So make different choices.

Satan will tell you (he tells me) that you can’t choose.  You are stuck in a pattern that you can’t break free of.  One of the many wonders of worship is that it is a time to make another choice.  We sing to our God because of His greatness, His power, His love.  But inherit in that worship is the idea that we are changed by His presence.  We become something greater having been with our God.  His glory shines through us.

So make a different choice.  And stop being a jerk.