I Got Nothin’

Have you ever noticed how good God is about removing the superficial constructs that define our lives?

Let me explain for those who are less intelligent than I am.

Yeah, I said you’re not as smart as me.  What of it?

You got a problem with me being smarter than you?

Silly… I know….

I have, for a long time, believed that my intelligence would get me somewhere.  That my abilities as a manager, a problem solver, a musician, would land me a dream job where I didn’t have to work so hard.  I believed that if I put my heart into something, I could accomplish anything.  I truly believed that, because of my work ethic and people skills, I would be desirable to have on anyone’s team.

Lately, I’ve been delivering packages.  I haven’t gotten paid yet.  I’m still in training.  It’s hard work.  I get sweaty and dirty.  My muscles are sore and weak.  And I don’t know if I’ll ever amount to anything.

No one cares if I’m smart at times like this.  No one wants my personality or giftedness.  And I feel like I have nothing left.

Dear christian, dear person who is seeking God, you will wonder at times why we are here.  You question the existence of God and, in the same breath, question your purpose here.  You wonder why God can remain so silent and distant.  But the end of me is where He begins.  When I have nothing, I find my King.  I am weary and find I still have strength.  I am discouraged and find that I still stand, move, breathe, live.  I am undone and find that I still love.  It is not from me.  It is the proof, the undeniable, living, breathing evidence of a God who notices me.

Can I worship when I have nothing left?  Oh yeah!  I can’t help myself.

“Without delay he called them…”

This is only a small part of what Mark 1 talks about but it jumped out at me.  It could be worded another way, “Without hesitation, he called them.”

I often wonder why God picked me.  I know that, right now, I’m writing.  I’m speaking out for Him, sharing LIFE with others.  But, I’ve spent most of my walk with Him just being a punk.  When He first called me, I fought Him tooth and nail, cussing at Him, telling Him “no”.  And now, by the age of fifty-one and in the world’s eyes, I’m past my prime.  I should be thinking about retirement, taking it easy and dying.  I shouldn’t even be trying to minister, that’s a younger man’s game.  And, I’ve been told, no one wants me at this point.

Maybe you’re hearing those types of words too.  “You’re divorced.  God doesn’t use divorced people.”  You’ve been in jail, God can’t use you.  You aren’t a virgin.  You aren’t smart.  You aren’t pretty.  You aren’t successful.  You have no money.  The list goes on and on.

And yet you are a christian.  You have put your faith is the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ.  And though you get afraid sometimes, you believe that God loves you and you trust Him.

Do you know that God did not look at you and wonder whether you would be worth the monumental investment He was about to put into you?  Do you know that God looked at you and without hesitation said, “This one is MINE!”  Do you realize that He sees your end from the beginning and knew everything about you before it ever occurred and still chose you to be His child?

Yeah, I need reminded too.