It makes me laugh to hear it now.

For years the accusation from satan has been to point out what a ridiculous person I am.

And it’s the truth.

When I cheer for someone, I sound like I’m angry (apparently) and I yell till I’m hoarse.  When I sing in worship, I get kind of pitchy, I often sing harmony and I sing till I’m hoarse. I’m overweight but dance and jump.  I laugh out loud, in church, with people watching.  

I’m not sure why the last two matter but I’ve been told it’s inappropriate.

I think the accuser is often honest in what he says.  He just doesn’t want to acknowledge God’s perspective.  It’s like that with lots of things.  And he isn’t the only one saying it.

We say it to ourselves.

I’m ugly.

I’m fat.

I’m stupid.

No one could ever love me.

So that’s two voices speaking the same truths.

And there are other voices too.

Ha!  But it doesn’t matter.

We have heard how God says He loves us.  We “know” he says we are beautiful, precious, worthy.  And we know that’s not true.

But here’s the thing, and I hope I’m saying this right.  God’s lies are more true than anybody else’s truth.  How He sees us matters more than anyone else’s opinions.

I’m not there yet.  And if I try to convince myself of God’s truths it turns into ego and religion.  I think the only thing I can handle right now is looking at Him more than I look at myself.

And He is beautiful!

And I’ll just accept that I’m ridiculous…

And keep dancing!


I am wanted.  I am needed.  I am loved.

we tend to perceive our world and respond to it within certain constructs.  Even within the extremes of pessimism and optimism there are variations in how we receive and disseminate information.

I was praying for our kid’s ministry the other day when, out of the blue, God says to me, “You are operating under lies.  Change your perspective.  Say, I am wanted.  I am needed.  I am loved.”  So I repeated what He said to me.  He said to say it louder.  It was like a movie.

I tend toward looking at myself as ugly, fat, untalented, ridiculous.  I tend toward seeing people respond to me as someone they don’t really like, an unessential part of the whole.  I tend to see my gifts as weak, ineffective, silly.  And at least on the surface, that would appear to be the truth.

But God’s Kingdom is so different than we perceive.  He wants a relationship with all people, to love them and be loved by them.  He created each of us as unique individuals that bring a wide variety of responses to the needs and issues of this world.  And the world needs us.  They need us whole, redeemed by Jesus’ blood, forgiven and able to forgive, broken and healed, finite and foolish.  In all of our specific, ridiculous, amazing idiosyncrasies, we are sent to bear His name.

So maybe the Piston’s don’t need me as a starting forward.  Maybe the New York Philharmonic doesn’t need me as their principal hornist.  But the factory where I work, the church where I serve, the family that I lead, the God that I love wants me, needs me, loves me.

Say it with me.

I am wanted.

I am needed.