Why Can’t We Be Friends?

Most people wish there was more passion in their marriage.

And, I’m not just talking about sex.

We wish for a return of the goosebumps, the increased heart rate, the involuntary smile when our other crosses our mind.

And we want to see the same response in their eyes.

And when it isn’t there, we blame.

We chalk it up to faults in the other person, in ourselves, the demands of our day to day, the fragility of love.

I was talking to God about it the other day.  I have a list of “blames” that sound like self-deprecation but really are just my way of blaming Him.  And after going through my liturgy, He surprised me by asking this question.

“Why can’t we be friends?”

I contrast my ideals for a perfect marriage with my relationship with my kids.  I never really think about a greater passion for them. 

The other night my boys got together with me to watch football.  We ate pizza.  Talked a bit. Turned on the game.  One fell asleep.  The other two were on their phones most of the time.  We just had fun hanging out.

Hold on!

Is God saying, or am I saying, that the way to a better relationship is to just not set the “bar” so high?  Don’t expect anything?  Don’t even try for intimacy?


I think what He is getting at is that we need to pursue presence first.  Passion and purpose will follow.  Don’t blame, but let faults draw us toward each other’s needs. Reject distance and all forms of self-defense, considering the other worthy of our sacrifice.

And every day…

Do it again…

You’re Too Much

We stand before a Holy God. If we had a moment where we saw Him as He really is, it would probably kill us. At the least, it would ruin us for all other earthly experiences.

I can just see it.

“I went to Disney World.”
“Yeah, well I got to drive a brand new Corvette.”
“That’s nothin’, I got to fly an F-16.”
“I just stood before the King of the Universe, the who formed the stars with His hands, who spoke galaxies into being. I just held the hand of the one who conquered sin and death, healed the blind, the broken. I just looked into the eyes that saw me from the beginning of eternity, and all that was in them was love for me.”

What would you trade for one hour behind the wheel of a Ferrari? What would you sacrifice for a date with some beauty queen? What would you let go of in order to hold onto wealth or power or fame?

Nothing compares to Jesus. Nothing comes close to the life that He offers. Nothing is like His presence, His love.

How can we say it well? How can we describe You, Lord? How can I let people know who you are, what you mean to me.

You’re too much!