Accurate vs. Real

I am sitting in my fear and unwillingness to move.  Sure that I will fail and that all my hopes and dreams will come to nothing.  In this mental desert, I find myself dwelling on Moses.

Moses was a great man of God.  He was humble and decisive.  He was courageous and powerful.  He was a lot of things that I would want to be as a man.  But he had problems, too.  It is interesting to me that when God tells him to go confront Pharaoh in the scene at the burning bush, Moses is found arguing with God.  “But Lord, who am I?  I’m a nobody.  I don’t speak well.  What if no one listens to me?”  What is surprising me right now is that Moses had legitimate arguments.  I’ve heard this story a thousand times and right now it is surprising me.

We don’t know everything about Moses but I am sure he had a speech impediment.  He had lost all standing in Pharaoh’s court.  He was now a shepherd in the desert of Midian, working for his father-in-law.  No land, no title, no army, no presence.  And no one did willingly listen to him, not even his own people, initially.

What is stopping me right now?  I have no money.  I have been a failure for so much of my life.  My wife doesn’t trust me, doesn’t believe in me, and she is justified in her opinion.  No one is listening and most of the time I feel like no one should listen.

That is accurate but it isn’t real.  These arguments work and rightfully hinder any ambition Moses had, that I now have.  But not in the face of the greater reality of my King.  He determines what He has called me to.  He walks out the process, knows the end from the beginning.  He commands favor and allows hardship.  He speaks over each challenge, each obstacle.  And because of Him, the accuracy of my failings becomes nothing, the truth of who I am becomes meaningless in light of the truth of who He is.

And in this, He is glorified.  He is praised.

If You Don’t Go With Me

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Moses was given the opportunity to get what he wanted.  He was told he could go into the “Promised Land”.  And, he could go right now.  He refused and forever forfeited his chance.  See, there was a catch.  God told him he could go but God would not go with him.  Moses, rightly, refused saying, “If You don’t go with us, we’re not going anywhere.”

Peter echoed this in the New Testament.  Many of Jesus’ disciples deserted Him on one occasion.  This prompted Him to ask His closest friends, “What about you, will you leave me also?”  Peter replied, “Where else can we go?”

I’ve often wondered at the twists and turns of life.  Why did this decision came at this time, this opportunity presented itself at that exact moment?  It was what I wanted, what I thought I needed, but could not take because of the timing.  I also sensed, rightly, that God was offering but would not be in it, would not go with me.

Does God tease us, tempt us with good?  Does He ask us to forfeit forever our dreams and desires?  Though I know He won’t tempt us to sin, I believe He does present us with options to force us to ask the questions of ourselves.  What is more important?  Who is most important?

So what if I choose to go without God?  What if I would say that I’m taking the opportunity to get what I want whether God comes or not?  I was given a picture of what that would look like.

Jar full of honey, sweet golden honey.  Inside, mixed with the golden goodness you could see feces, dead flies, undefinable floating matter.  Then I was told to drink up.  “No thank you!”  Getting what I want without God turns life to horrible, grotesque, vacuous nightmares.

But the deepest nightmares, if God is with me, become my dreams come true.  With Him, I receive, “exceedingly, abundantly beyond anything I can ask, or even imagine.”