I Got Nothin’

Have you ever noticed how good God is about removing the superficial constructs that define our lives?

Let me explain for those who are less intelligent than I am.

Yeah, I said you’re not as smart as me.  What of it?

You got a problem with me being smarter than you?

Silly… I know….

I have, for a long time, believed that my intelligence would get me somewhere.  That my abilities as a manager, a problem solver, a musician, would land me a dream job where I didn’t have to work so hard.  I believed that if I put my heart into something, I could accomplish anything.  I truly believed that, because of my work ethic and people skills, I would be desirable to have on anyone’s team.

Lately, I’ve been delivering packages.  I haven’t gotten paid yet.  I’m still in training.  It’s hard work.  I get sweaty and dirty.  My muscles are sore and weak.  And I don’t know if I’ll ever amount to anything.

No one cares if I’m smart at times like this.  No one wants my personality or giftedness.  And I feel like I have nothing left.

Dear christian, dear person who is seeking God, you will wonder at times why we are here.  You question the existence of God and, in the same breath, question your purpose here.  You wonder why God can remain so silent and distant.  But the end of me is where He begins.  When I have nothing, I find my King.  I am weary and find I still have strength.  I am discouraged and find that I still stand, move, breathe, live.  I am undone and find that I still love.  It is not from me.  It is the proof, the undeniable, living, breathing evidence of a God who notices me.

Can I worship when I have nothing left?  Oh yeah!  I can’t help myself.