Itty Bitty

Because I have never held a staff position at a church, I seem to be constantly wrestling with the idea of fulfilling my purpose.  Now, I probably would still wrestle if I was a pastor, but that’s my golden chalice, my “dweam wiffin a dweam”.  Part of me wants to accept my low position.  Part of me knows that I was meant for something more, something great.

Now, I know, I am just one guy.  I am not amazing or even noticeable.  But, somehow, as I go through my days, I see that with Jesus living in me, with the Holy Spirit flowing through me, I could do something amazing.

I think that is why I write.  It provides that chance for God to inspire, to infiltrate my words and make them something that lifts others up, alters their view a little, brightens their day, maybe inspires them to dare greatly.

We live in a time where children are told that if you believe in yourself, you can do anything.  Conversely, as adults we are given constant reminders of our insignificance.  It seems that often even God wants us to know how small we are.

I question this.

When I look at the stars, do I not sense a calling out, a pull to see beyond?  When I look at the oceans, doesn’t a sense of adventure rise up in me?  Don’t the crashing waves beckon me to dive in, the cliffs to try to fly.

He designed us with greatness inside.  Sin humbles us, tells us what failures we are.  But, oh hear me!  BUT, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.”

Christ lives in me!


Now you’ll see…

Waiting is always so difficult, so discouraging.

I once was working with a horse that I really liked, but he was stubborn and moved so stiffly. A horse with a rider should move much like a horse with no rider. If not, there is usually either a problem with how I’m handling the horse or the horse is handling me. This was the latter.

I asked for some advice on how to help the horse develop and Lewis Sterrett ( said I should work with him to make him stand still. Much of horse training has to do with a horse in motion, so this was going to be different.

I learned the meaning of the word ‘pissed’ during this time. I didn’t punish the horse or run him into the ground. I just made him stand still. He would get so angry, sweating and foaming at the mouth. He would buck and literally, forcibly urinate. And then I would calmly put him back in the place where we started.

We would all like to see miracles. We would love to be in that place where amazing things happen around us, through us. But no one wants to wait. No one wants to discipline themselves to trust God when nothing is happening.

Moses was eighty when he heard the words, “now you’ll see.” David had run from Saul for many years before he heard them. Simeon waited till he was old, almost dead before he heard them.

A great life is the one that waits for God’s glory to be revealed in it. A great life is one that looks for God to shine through. Anything, ANYTHING else is such a waste.

Help me Lord! I can’t stand still.