New Birth

I was there for the birth of each of my children.  I cut the cord on three of them, the miracle of my second son being the only one the doctor took a hand in.  To this day, when I watch a birth in classes that I took, read about it in a book, see it faked in a movie, I am moved to tears.  I can’t explain it.

The heroism of the mother as she endures the pain, the amazing anatomy that God created that affords such safety and environmental control that then changes so drastically, the structures of the umbilicus and placenta, and the beauty of the closed eyes, the shocked reaction to this world, the struggling, grasping little hands, all play on my heart and mind.

Scientifically, it is strong enough evidence to refute evolution completely.

Emotionally, I can’t get over the promise, the amazement, LIFE!

As I have previously stated, I’m struggling with forgiveness.  I am weighing the pros and cons of letting go of what I can’t control, the hurts done to me, the hurts I have done to others.  And it strikes me that it is has many similarities with giving birth.

Hear me out ladies.

The pain involved (you definitely get honors on the physical level girls), the contrasts of relaxing and pushing, the mess, the despair, the fear, the hope, the strength, the courage, and all to bring new life.

To abort this process, to keep this life inside, to deny the pain and difficulties, is to walk hand in hand with our enemy.

In life, in birth, in forgiveness, we all have a choice.

CHOOSE LIFE!

Forgiveness

What happens when we won’t forgive?  Rightly described as a poison we drink ourselves, unforgiveness eats away at everything we are and live for.  It kills our hopes and dreams, sucking life from every facet of our being.

I am finding forgiveness difficult right now.

Some hurts reoccur with a regularity that makes it so difficult to let go of.  Some offenses cut so deep that they will not heal with band-aids and platitudes.  Marriage, brothers, parents, old friendships are where these things happen.  It finds no ground in the new relationship, the acquaintance, for they are easily let go of.  But in the soil of what should last, we find the place that seeds of anger, bitterness, hatred, unforgiveness find their environment for growth.  The place where we are hurt, and then hurt again, and again by those who should never want to cause us pain, that is where this poison does its work.

And out of this venom, we lash out at those around us, hurting others out of the hurt that we feel.

And nothing can stop this juggernaut of destruction.  It will go on ad infinitum, through generations, through changes in culture and politics, despite all that we do to cover it, to medicate it, to deny its existence.  And the only way out, the only thing that can set anyone free, is to forgive.

I will not hold to your account the debt you owe me.  I will not make you pay for the wrongs I have suffered.  I forgive you.

This malignancy will no longer live in my heart, in my family, in my church, in my home.

I forgive you.