Someone I knew posted a video of a dog being smacked around by his owner while others watched and laughed. I was angry at the abuse but I was rocked to my core.
I’m the dog.
No, I get it. In my western, nicely appointed ranch house in a quiet neighborhood outside of the city it would be hard to see the abuses heaped on me. I drive a working car. I have nice guitars. I have a good job.
I’m still the dog.
It’s not that I am suffering abuse right now, I guess. Or that the abuses of my past are rising up to attack me. I just saw the look on that dogs face and felt every blow that he took.
Why are you hitting me? What did I do? I must be bad but I don’t understand.
What makes it worse is that the hand that is on me seems like God’s.
I have these songs to sing that it feels like no one wants to hear. I have these words that burn in my soul and no platform to speak. I have this love to give and no one to share it with. It feels like God mocks me with a message but gives me no one to pour it out on.
I would love to speak before thousands, but my voice is only heard so often by just one. I sing and some listen. I love like rain on dry soil, never there to watch the grass turn green, the flowers grow and blossom.
But it is enough.
It is the comparison of Psalm 88 with Psalm 89.
Psalm 88:14 O Lord, why do you cast my soul away? Why do you hide your face from me?
Psalm 89:14 Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne; steadfast love and faithfulness go before you.
The punches I feel are real. The condemnation and hatred come from a very real enemy. But they are not from my God. His promises remain true. His love for me does not falter. He will prove himself as faithful, no matter what.
My path follows who I believe.
And the abuser, in all cases, will stand before a righteous, Holy God. And we will give an account for what we believe and what we did with our beliefs.