Never Easy

I’m the poster boy for doing it the hard way. 

Well, to be precise, I’m the poster boy for doing it the WRONG way, multiple times, and maybe, just maybe, learning something in the process.

That’s why, or at least partly why I tend to give up on things.  I know from the get go that I’m never talented or gifted enough to excel at anything.  So if I’m going to do it, ot better be something I love.

Marriage, fatherhood.  Yep!

Music.  Yep.

Horses.  Yep, though I let that go for marriage.


Lately, I’ve been going through a season of doubt.  I’ll never be good enough, strong enough, worthy.  I just can’t do it right.  Despite all that I’ve been through, all that I’ve seen, all that I’ve hoped for, dreamed of, believed in and the depth of my worship, it will never be enough.

And that’s just truth.

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.
Philippians 1:6 ESV

Somehow, I keep thinking it depends on  me.  That’s my problem with saints and pastors and martyrs.

We put them on pedestals, paint halos around them and tell legends, LEGENDS about all that they did.

Oh, we like it that way.  He’s up there.  I’m down here.  I’m off the hook.  Can’t expect much from me.

But if HE who began a good work in me will complete it.  And I’m not DEAD!  There’s still more for me.

And whether I do everything wrong or not.  He still believes I can do it.

So you’re like me.  You have royally f’ed everything up in your life but just haven’t had the good grace to die.  Guess what?!

Pick up your sword (dust off your bible).  Get on your knees.  And get in the war.

You are needed.  I am needed.  God’s work isn’t finished and I’m still on the team

It’s not easy.  That’s why God made idiots like you, like me.

Nothing ever handed to us.  Struggle and failure are part of our DNA.

This IS our time!


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