Married Up

My brain gets stuck on things and then once again, “fools rush in where angels fear to tread.”

See, I’ve listened to great marriage counselors and speakers who talk about how they “married up”, married someone who was out of their league.

Always, it is a guy.  I’ve never heard a woman say this.  Of course, I’ve also never heard a woman say, “he married up when he got me.”  That would be weird.

Now, as someone who married up, I find myself still having a problem with this.

What is the end result?

OK, so your husband is an idiot.  He’s a loser.  He can’t do anything right.

Oh wait, your wife is perfect.  Walk in shame next to her.

Yeah, I know, overly dramatic, but here’s the problem.  God gave us to each other.  I don’t believe he ever goes, “well, this one is great but I can’t find a good match for them.  Guess I’ll just give them this one.”

I’m pretty sure that when God brings two people together, he’s stoked because he is bringing the best for both people.  Even with all their faults and issues, they are RIGHT for each other.  RIGHT!  Each is blessed to be with the other.  The world is blessed because they are together.

It really is amazing.

So yeah, I married up.  I would never claim to be better than her.  But maybe I should see myself as perfect for her and step it up a bit.

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3 thoughts on “Married Up

  1. You have to understand where the idea comes from: back in the day, class and status were key factors in deciding which prospect one ought to pursue for marriage. Sometimes a guy could find himself lucky enough to marry the daughter of a really rich man, or a man of status, even though he was from a poorer, working class. That’s what it meant to marry up back then. Today, I guess it’s meant to be a compliment, to recognize that your wife makes you a better man.

    1. Yeah, I get that. I had just been a part of a marriage conference and it got me thinking about how we respond to our own identity (especially in how God sees us). Plus, I think we can use it as an excuse to say, “she’s the good person, I’m the naughty boy.” Like we can’t help it and “boys will be boys” attitudes. I just was responding to the extremes that go through my thoughts.
      Thanks for the response.

      1. Or perhaps, you see how such attitudes let a lot of boys do terrible things and people just shrug it off and you would rather be held to a higher standard. Historically, boys have gotten away with a lot and girls would have been terribly shamed for similar behavior.

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