I have felt so, incredibly sad lately.
And then today….
Sometimes, when you come off a good day, it can be such a let down that you lose sight of what is real. I love our youth group, our youth pastor, our youth worship team. And when I get home, I am practically buzzing.
I want to stay in that moment. Those times when God is close and what is right seems possible.
But, I don’t.
I go to work in the morning and face the fight.
Today was tough. I feel such a burden for the people around me and yet feel inadequate to reach them. One of them has taken it upon himself to turn me away from God, wanting me to join in sex talk, rude gestures, a changed mind. Today, he told me that he sees me as a homosexual.
I told him I see him as a Christian and accepted his challenge. Whoever caves to the will of the other loses.
The voices in my head started in. How I’ll lose. How foolish I am. How stupid.
And then God rose up.
I don’t want you to think I’m brave. I’m not. I don’t want you to think I’m amazing. I’m not.
But when God rose up inside me. I sang out.
“Even in the battle you are with me, I will not be broken in the fight. You will go before me and behind me. You’ll never let me go. You’ll never let me go.” (Cory Asbury – You Won’t Let Me Go)
That’s the reality. That’s what is true. I will fight for the heart of this friend.
And let all hell tremble!