“Staring at the shoreline, wishing for some hope, the weight of empty fishing nets is more than twisted rope.”
These lines from a band called “Five Iron Frenzy” came back to me just in time yesterday. It speaks of a time after Jesus was crucified when the disciples were all but despairing.
I have been there. I am there right now.
They thought that God had called them to something great. They had argued about who would sit at Jesus right hand in His kingdom, who would be the greatest. And then they watched Him die.
But then He rose, after all their failures and betrayals, he came back. No discussions of self-importance, no more grand ideas. They had messed up and they knew it.
So they returned to fishing. I’m never going to be great. I will never be anything.
And then, they fail at that too.
“See the figure on the shore, He speaks as plain men sing. His hands they still have holes in them, Glory to the King!”
Then Jesus, THEN JESUS, my hero, my King…
“Try one more time.”
“But I’ve been trying. Everything and everyone is telling me how I’ve failed you, how much a mess I’ve made of my life.”
“I hear they’ll hang you upside down, stretched across their boards, for hearing distant voices and crossing to the Lord.”
Peter ended up hung on a cross too. But we’ve got to see beyond this. He lived a life, found a love worth dying for. In casting out his net one more time, he found what he had always, unknowingly, hoped for.
I’m tired. I don’t know how to keep trying some days. Maybe you can relate.
Don’t give up. A life worth dying for is just on the other side.