I had all sorts of great titles running through my head this morning but they wouldn’t have been honest.
I have been sick for the past week. Suffering from vertigo, looking at perhaps a long recovery time. Hearing the words I’ve written to others but not feeling them, not believing them. Remembering the dreams and hopes that I laid down, taking them back off the altar and wanting so bad for them to come true.
So, this morning I face a new day. I am debilitated. I weigh too much. I am so out of shape and so far from what God designed me for.
A light breaks over my heart right now, in this moment. It is the backdrop for the cross in my life. Will I pick it up again? Will I deny myself and follow Him? I’ve seen too much, been through too much to believe that my will can accomplish anything good. I struggle and fume, maybe this time, maybe I’ll win.
Satan throws at me every self-made man, every wealthy success story. Those who have the cars, the house, the power position. He lets me know what he offers.
And I reject it.
I want to be the hero of my own story. I want to be the one who submitted his will so fully to Jesus that He has only to nudge and I’m there, He has only to call and I’ll answer. I want to be the one who lays everything down and lets JESUS shine through.
That’s a life worth living.