I’m An Idiot!


Not just trying to be self-deprecating, it’s just the truth.

Yesterday, I was talking with God. Praying for my wife, for healing and life, to be blessed, and out of the blue, he speaks to me.

“You know that a marriage that is whole can not help but be a ministry.”

I’ve spent so many years, knowing I was called to full-time ministry. I was frustrated and angry because I couldn’t get a church job of any sort, let alone one as a worship pastor. And you can guess who bore the brunt of my accusations and bitterness. Between God and my beautiful wife, i didn’t know who to blame more.

I started this blog as a reaction to the voices I heard, angry and bitter at the church, senior pastors, the commercialism of modern worship. Some of those voices were inside of me. Some of the voices are saying some accurate things.

But what can I do about it? How can I stem this tide?

I think a good place to start is to let go of what you want. Start by being grateful for what you have. Start by unifying with your God given spouse and seeking Him together for whatever He would want to do.

Out of that will flow ministry. Out of that will flow love and peace, for you and those around you.


4 thoughts on “I’m An Idiot!

  1. Bill Hawkins

    God IS speaking to you, Matt! Wonderful advice! Let go and let the ministry flow! I want to see you in ministry as well – as you already know! Write some more songs – the type you used to write. I LOVED those! They can come again! Where is God leading you? Let go and let God! Old cliche but some truth there! I love you so much! Daddy

  2. Bill Hawkins

    Matt, just saw this again. Wondering that I actually saw and replied to it and left it there. Where are you now in this? I believe in Jesus Christ. I believe in Jesus Christ IN YOU! I do not always hear and understand everything you are saying but I continue to believe that God has called you to “ministry”. I want to hear more as you come nearer to what God is saying to you. In all and above all this, I LOVE YOU! You are already ministering! God bless you. Dad

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