They Aren’t Here Anymore

Tomorrow, my grandkids and daughter are moving back to Mexico. They have endured the governmental red tape, the greed of lawyers and the slow passage of time and want to be reunited while they wait for approval to come back. We are praying for them to be back for Christmas.

But right now, they will be gone. The wriggling, noisy, ill-tempered two year old will have his meltdowns far away from us. No more will I be slimed by the drooling, gross kisses of the baby. And I can’t quit crying over it.

My sons have all but left. The one who still lives with us is hardly ever here. And I am realizing that my time with them is drawing to a close. I am still their dad. I still can speak life into them. But their need for me is vastly different than it has been. Now, they are placed firmly in the hands of their King.

What a good place to be! What a time to be a part of! God is so good!

What will God do now? Where will He take us? It is His adventure that we are drawn into. It is the wild ride of life in Him that we are called to.

I’m all in, Lord. Whatever You have in store, whatever You want me to do, that’s what I want to. Hold me and my wife together. Keep us sane and unified.

We joyfully trust in You.

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2 thoughts on “They Aren’t Here Anymore

  1. May the good Lord keep you and yours! Continue to lean on Him the creator of Heaven and Earth, and the lover of your soul. I pray that His will be done in you and your families life and I thank Him for hearing His little one’s prayers. God is faithful!

    “The children of your servants shall dwell secure; their offspring shall be established before you.”
    Psalm 102:28

    “Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table.”
    Psalm 128:3

  2. Bill Hawkins

    Is it OK if I cry too? You all left me MANY, MANY years ago and I do not see you very much any more. But, guess what? I still miss you. I still want to see you, to touch you one more time, to hear your voice, to listen to anything you have to say to me. I look at a picture of the three oldest on the steps of Grandma Hawkins’ front porch when they were 3, 4, and 5, and you weren’t born yet – and I still cry! I do not like it that you are grown and gone. But I want you to be happy. I hope and pray that you find the place of God’s appointing for you. Funny; you are one of the nearer ones. There are a couple relatively close by here but I don’t see them much either. You are about 500 miles away. The next one is about 1000 miles away. A grandson is about 2000 miles away (Montana) and one is 3000 miles away (coast of Oregon). I never miss a day or night longing to see you, remembering beautiful things about you (especially your composing – and each other one has their own special thing), and crying over the regrets. I know it is silly and useless and I know all the theological and psychological reasons why I should not do it, but when I look at a picture or conjure one up in my mind I do not have time to suppress all the emotions that go with that before I start bawling. I love you each one and I will until the day I die. Go with God – Vaya con Dios! – Be blessed! I love hearing from you however it is accomplished! You will always be some little bit MINE!!

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