Worry seems to be taking over my life. So many things that I can’t control. So many things that are happening that I don’t like or want. I’m glad that God has brought me past the point of becoming angry over so many things. But I still worry.
I hear people telling me that worry accomplishes nothing. That worry is a lack of faith. That things I worry about will most likely never happen. All of it true. And all of it is the underlying reason why I worry.
I worry because there is nothing I can do. This in itself is a humanistic belief that I have stood on for way too long. I can fix this. I can make this better. But I can’t and so many of my efforts make things worse.
I worry because I don’t think God will do anything. His timing is so off from mine. I see problems escalating – no job, no money, bills unpaid, lose house, starving family – and He seems unmoved, unfluttered. And sometimes, despite my prayers and fasting, despite my cries for help, He appears silent.
I worry because the things I worry about may not happen. I’m old enough to know that there are consequences for bad behavior, that sin is still at work in this world, that people do stupid things, that I will fail again and again. What I am not experienced enough to know is what those consequences will be, what destruction sin will visit on those I love, who will die because of stupid, ridiculous actions, what will be ruined because of me.
I love in Hebrews 12 when it says, “… we fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith…” I can’t control much of anything in this world. But I can do that. Fix my eyes on the one who is strong enough, wise enough, patient enough, wonderful enough. When I don’t understand, I can fix my eyes on the one who does and choose to believe that He loves me.
And when I can’t fix my eyes on anything because I’m too afraid, too discouraged, too defeated, I can trust in Him to lift my eyes up, pour His Spirit into me, and make me a warrior once again.
Because He does love me and He’s not finished with me yet.
The Healing Worshipper 
I know a lot of people don’t like to hear this when they are going through, but we have to remember it’s all a test. When we come to these special moments, and stages in our spiritual walk we have to remind ourselves that God knows what He is doing. He is only going to allow the devil to test us in an area the Spirit has already prepared us for. So during this time God always seems silent, but just like any good teacher He know there is no talking during the test. However, trust and know His eyes are glued on us! He is watching and waiting for us to decide IF we will seek our own victory by placing our hopes in our own strength, knowledge, finance, or maybe put our trust in man. Or will we decide that the fight isn’t ours but the Lord’s, and rest in His peace, shifting over our burden to Him? We must know that our God will make a clear way for us in the desert. Sometimes, God has to take away all our avenues (a. k. a. distractions) to force us to see the reality of our situation. God is the reality, the truth, and the only way. He is The Source, He is The Sustainer, and the giver of All good things to a people who are undeserving. Singing, praying, and praising will do us no good if we don’t truly understand that it is God alone that gets us through. So let us not trust in our money that can be lost in a moment, our knowledge for we all can be made fools, our strength for we all grow weary, “who we know” for man can forsake us….But trust in God for all things.
Keeping you and yours in my prayers.
God Bless!
Your prayers are appreciated. And your words are so helpful. I keep singing, “On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand…” Funny how songs we’ve sung for years can take on such depth in times like these.
Amen to that!
I know what you mean by how songs tend to grow in meaning as time goes on or when we find ourselves face to face with those particular circumstance in which the song speaks. For example the song “What a friend we have in Jesus” I uses to sing this song when I was a little girl, but it wasn’t until about a year ago I came across the song lyric and just read them and WOW! Let’s just say it hit home in a big way.