I am sitting in my fear and unwillingness to move. Sure that I will fail and that all my hopes and dreams will come to nothing. In this mental desert, I find myself dwelling on Moses.
Moses was a great man of God. He was humble and decisive. He was courageous and powerful. He was a lot of things that I would want to be as a man. But he had problems, too. It is interesting to me that when God tells him to go confront Pharaoh in the scene at the burning bush, Moses is found arguing with God. “But Lord, who am I? I’m a nobody. I don’t speak well. What if no one listens to me?” What is surprising me right now is that Moses had legitimate arguments. I’ve heard this story a thousand times and right now it is surprising me.
We don’t know everything about Moses but I am sure he had a speech impediment. He had lost all standing in Pharaoh’s court. He was now a shepherd in the desert of Midian, working for his father-in-law. No land, no title, no army, no presence. And no one did willingly listen to him, not even his own people, initially.
What is stopping me right now? I have no money. I have been a failure for so much of my life. My wife doesn’t trust me, doesn’t believe in me, and she is justified in her opinion. No one is listening and most of the time I feel like no one should listen.
That is accurate but it isn’t real. These arguments work and rightfully hinder any ambition Moses had, that I now have. But not in the face of the greater reality of my King. He determines what He has called me to. He walks out the process, knows the end from the beginning. He commands favor and allows hardship. He speaks over each challenge, each obstacle. And because of Him, the accuracy of my failings becomes nothing, the truth of who I am becomes meaningless in light of the truth of who He is.
And in this, He is glorified. He is praised.
4 thoughts on “Accurate vs. Real”
I often wonder some of the same things. What could I possibly offer to God. He has again and again pointed me to Moses. I love when God speaks from the burning bush and says to him, “Who made man’s mouth?” I even wrote a post about this same idea.
Thanks. I always thought Moses was just making excuses. Then I saw it a different way.
Whatever anyone says to you or thinks about you, do NOT let it cause you to stop writing! I was with Matt Page today for the first time in a forever or two. He told me that your writing was quite good – right on! Your blog is probably speaking to a lot of people who don’t write back and respond. I keep telling my people that their responding is food to my writing and joy to my soul. But they somehow don’t do it very often! Take solace and encouragement from knowing that there are people out there who are using what you write and KEEP WRITING! I often feel so many of the same things you feel! I love you!
Sometimes it gets to me that I hear so little back from people. But, I told myself when I started that this wasn’t so other people would notice me. I hope people are blessed and see Jesus in a new way.