I’m Angry With You God!

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I’m reading in Leviticus right now and finding that I’m responding emotionally to the Law.  So many things made you “unclean.”  And if anyone touched you or your clothes or your bed or the pot in your hand, they became unclean too.  Rules that made everyone treat disease as if it was the sick person’s fault, dictums that made everyone treat each other with distrust and distance.

So why did You do it God?  Why make rules that could only lead to hatred of each other, hatred of self, hatred of life?  Why enforce a weight that no one could bear?

The Priest could touch goat’s blood to purify the altar.  But if a man touches the seat that a woman has been sitting on during her period, he is unclean.  It just seems crazy.  We’re left with either isolating ourselves from humanity, being unclean or lying about it.  We become unloving, unworthy or a hypocrite.

And, though it seems unrelated, why did You let Jesus be flogged before He was crucified?  Why did He have to wear a crown of thorns?  Wasn’t it enough that He died for us?  Did He have to bear so much pain before being nailed to the cross and bearing the excruciating weight of our sins, my sins?

Holiness.  The righteous demands of a Holy, Loving Father.  The Law that can only lead to failed attempts at self-righteousness or abdication of our place at His side.

On Valentine’s Day, in the year 2014, I live because Your holiness was so exacting that I had no other choice than to accept the blood of Jesus, not just dripped out of the sealed wounds on His hands and feet, but gushing out of His head, His back, His shoulders, His side.  I weep because You took this for me, my Jesus.  And I live because God’s holiness is answered.

Thank You, God!

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7 thoughts on “I’m Angry With You God!

  1. I have had similar emotions in the past when reading Leviticus. It just seems harsh. I have had people explain it as God’s way of preserving his people- protecting them from the spreading of disease and infection during a time when medicine and antibacterial soaps and cleansers were not stocked in pharmacies and grocery stores. Sickness and disease spread fast. Close contact- that’s all it takes.

    As I thought on this more I thought about sin. Our culture is sin rampant. And yet many don’t call it what it is. Many don’t inspect their heart- I can’t even say that I do as I should… Am I as thorough an inspector of my heart as a priest inspecting for disease? Surely not. Am I even able to identify where I caught that thought that did not glorify God or that desire that does not align with holiness? Many times no, because like a contaminated camp ground- sin is everywhere. Many times we don’t want to cast someone off and to the side as a way to protect ourself and those we love… But sometimes… We have to do that… We have to separate ourselves from the source of a sin infection until the source is no longer infectious. We have to continuously come before Jesus Christ our high priest and ask him to check our heart. We have to cry out “unclean” as a confession to him and understand our uncleanliness can and does infect others. We desperately need the cleansing blood to atone for our sin.

    It may sound harsh. It angers many to think we are “unclean” apart from Christ. But that is exactly what we are and our loving God isn’t content to sit back and watch sin take over. He desires to separate us and make us clean.

    Just some thoughts.

    1. I can wrap my head around much of this intellectually. Emotionally, especially when I am confronted with my complete unworthiness of this gift, it is a bit more difficult. And knowing the necessity of His actions does not diminish the sorrow of knowing that He did it for me, nor the gratitude that I feel for His coming for me.
      Good thoughts.

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