Today is one of those days where I hear the voices telling me no one’s listening. They whisper to me about mistakes, about failure. They remind me how weak I am and tell me to quit trying. I do not even want to write today.
I let you in on a little secret though. I hear everyday from people around the world. I have been walking in victory, storming the gates of hell. I’m seeing break through in other’s lives. I’m enjoying, and watching in amazement, the growth and strength of my children.
And yet, today, I’m discouraged.
I’m not God, so I can’t speak very authoritatively on this, but there is a purpose to my discouragement. I don’t want anyone to spend even a second feeling bad for me. I think God lets these moments in to see why we’re doing what we do. For me, I sometimes live to see comments and likes, to see new followers and hear new voices. But that isn’t why I do this. It isn’t why I sing or play guitar.
I need reminded that the reason for my life is that I would live to serve Him, to know Him more, to see His light burn brightly in others. I sing because I love Him. I move and breathe because it is all I can do to repay Him for what He has done for me.
I don’t know how I would do it, but I would hope that if no one ever read anything I wrote, I would hope I would write just the same. If my hands were broken, my guitars taken away, my voice silenced by disease, I want my life to be one of worship to my Jesus. I want my heart to drip with joy and forgiveness seeping from me like nectar from a flower.
It is all I have to offer.
Let it be enough.