What a crock!
I know it’s scripture but, seriously, what a crock.
Raised in an abusive, dysfunctional home. Molested as a child, repeatedly. Bullied, ridiculed, demeaned. Rejected by many that I needed, really, truly needed to be loved by. Marginalized by the church as a rebel. Looked down on for how I question things, the questions that I ask, the inherent flaws that must be present in a person who questions God. Every time I asked for something, it either came across as being arrogant, thinking I deserved it, or as weak, lacking confidence. So many opportunities stripped away, even when I had the necessary skills, the drive to do what needed done, all because of some ambiguous, not-the-right-fit kind of reason.
“More than conquerors…”
Really?
Broke all the time. Can’t sell a book. Can’t buy a full-time ministry position. My job doesn’t like me. I can’t get promoted. I’m not even sure my wife and kids like me most of the time.
Now maybe, no one who reads this can relate to what I’m saying. But, I bet, if you look down deep, everyone one of you has had questions, doubts about the validity of the two scriptures that I quoted.
Is God working all things together for my good?
My heart breaks over the abuse of children, sex-trafficking of people, slavery, bullying, loneliness. I can’t see a person sitting alone in a room without wondering what’s going on inside them. When I hug the son of a single mom, I want them to know that they are loved, they matter, they are not rejected. When I pray, I hear the voice of my Father, my Daddy as His great, loving heart weeps over the brokenness of this world.
Through addiction and defeat I have seen the power, the relentless juggernaut of God’s passion for the healing, restoration, discipline and release of His warriors. I have tasted His desire for all people to be free. FREE! Not bound by rules and decrees. Not robots with mindless movements and subjugated wills. FREE and ALIVE human beings.
And I have found freedom. I have come to see the walls torn down, the strongholds broken, the infections lanced, drained and healed. I have seen my heart of stone restored to a heart of flesh.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
It is true.
“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Romans 8:37
IT IS TRUE!
All because HE LOVES US!!
The Healing Worshipper 
I’ve never doubted God or the Scripture but many, many times, I’ve doubted myself. I doubted that I loved the Lord enough for “all things to work together for my good.” I doubted that I was worthy of being “called according to His purpose.” I still have so many doubts about my own worthiness for anything good that God has to give.
And yet through my own abuse, through my own pain, through my own failures and weaknesses, I can look back now and see His mighty hand guiding me through what should have surely led to my death. I shouldn’t be alive to be so grateful for the Lord’s love in spite of my unworthiness, in spite of my shortcomings, in spite of my selfishness.
I can look back now and see that He has been recreating me throughout every bruise, every scar, every defeat. I’m not the person I was before.
His love has proven bigger than my doubt.
Yep! He never let me down – even when I was too blind to see.
what’s your book about?
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/384362
This is a link to where it is available. It is a fictional story based on how Christianity came to Scotland. Mainly just a story but some events/characters are historical.
Did you get a chance to look it up? I’d love to hear what you think even if it isn’t your style of book.
I looked at it, it doesn’t seem very girly. But I’m sure it’s amazing because all of your writing is brilliant.
What? Battles, torture, that kind of thing isn’t girly enough for you? Smiles
Matthew, you so often speak my heart–I sat here reading and cried. But God…BUT GOD–such powerful words to me. You and I both growing up as we did, heard Romans 8:28 given out so often as a pat answer for every hurt. For me, quite honestly, I came to see it as a cop out for dealing with emotions or feelings that needed to be dealt with. Now, I can see it as a deep truth. NOT an easy truth, but truth. I thank you for your willingness to be open with feelings that may not be popular. Teaching my kids recently, there are 2 girls that are on the fence and can be a little (not overly) hostile in their questions. But I thanked them because they make me think. Is God real? Does He really care? How…how to show the greatness and the human-ness of Jesus to children?
This is one my favorite posts so far. Keep it up! I love you!