In Faith

I am struggling right now with knowing how to be responsible, take care of my family, and yet be a man of faith.  How do you leap off a cliff, trusting Jesus to catch you when it isn’t just you that dies if He says no?

I don’t believe that He will honor foolishness.  No wait, that’s not true.  He honors foolishness where He is concerned.  Doesn’t the bible say that He will use our foolishness to shame the wise?  Well, I guess to be more precise, it says that He will use what seems foolish to the world to shame the wise.  But then that brings us back to me being willing to act on what seems like foolishness.  Does it need to be acceptable to me for me to trust that God will enter in?  That seems backwards.  I should act on what God directs and know that He is in it.  I accept it because He has made His will apparent.

Ah, but there’s the rub, I’ve heard myself and many others calling something God’s will when it was only my own, their own will.

I love music.  I love to worship.  Is my desire to be a worship pastor something that I should act on?  Is it God’s will or is it mine?  I want it so badly that it clouds my reasoning.  God is using me in worship ministry right now.  I sing and dance and play for my church and find so much joy in it.  Why do I need to do it full time?  Why do I need to be paid to do it?  Is it God’s calling on my life to quit my job and seek to be full time in ministry?

There are two sides to my writing.  I figure things out as I write and I hope that it helps others figure things out too.  People have different callings, different purposes for their lives, different questions that they ask themselves.  My hope and prayer is that in me asking and talking that we will all come to see God for who He really is.  It is my dream that we would all go forward as people of faith, people that are confident in the goodness of God, the kindness of our Savior.

I don’t have the answers.

I do have my King.

Maybe the question is really, will I trust Him to get me where He wants me to be?  Do I believe that He is strong enough to move me and loving enough to want to get me there?



4 thoughts on “In Faith

  1. steffiedotorg

    “How do you leap off a cliff, trusting Jesus to catch you when it isn’t just you that dies if He says no?”

    Some months back when the Lord was helping me deal with some bitterness issues I had towards someone, I remember being scared to death to pray for certain things that I knew I wanted. Things like, “Father, not my will, but Your will be done.”

    That prayer Jesus prayed just before He was crucified. He wanted desperately for that cup to pass from Him, but the Father said, “No.”

    Had the Father’s will not be done, you and I wouldn’t be “speaking” today. There would be no Christians. There would be no straight line of access to seek the Lord with our prayers.. and there would be no answers.

    Sometimes, even though it’s the most frightening thing to imagine, when God says, “No”, it’s the best thing that could ever happen.

    It’s hard to trust when you fear. So when you don’t know how to trust the fear away, just go on loving Him.

    There is no fear in love.

    (Whatever brought on this blog, my prayers go with you and your family this morning.)

    1. This after I post the “Nec Aspera” one. Thank you for reminding me. And as far as it goes, nothing happened to bring on this fear again. Sometimes that’s the problem, nothing happening. But that is in the hands of my loving Daddy too! So often the word to me is “Rest”. Thanks again for the Q-tip (to clean out me ears).

      1. steffiedotorg

        Believe me, I was speaking to myself too. It’s easier sometimes to “get” it when you’re not the one that’s afraid. After I wrote that comment, I got it though.

        I’m a slow learner. Thankfully He’s a very patient teacher. 🙂

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