The once joyful, smiling little boy sat by himself in the room. His tears would not fall anymore though the loneliness, the utter, desperate loneliness was a palpable wave. It roared over him, surrounded him, crushed him beneath its suffocating weight. Daddy would not be coming home anymore.
She was a beautiful bride. Their smiles, their kisses, the warmth and joy they had felt seemed inexhaustible. Children had blessed their home and life had moved on but there wTas love, so much love. She had known that things weren’t great, harsh words, tempers, problems. But it had not prepared her for his words. “I’m leaving.” The other woman, the lies, the betrayal sent her reeling into an abyss that had no bottom, the hole she fell into closed also.
The old man lay in bed, a confusion of tubes, beeping monitors and smells that assaulted his senses and further disoriented his feeble hold on reality. He had been strong. He had worked hard and provided. He had been a father, a husband, a friend. Now, his only companions rolled him over, spoke in harsh tones, complained over his accidents (a humiliation beyond description) and then left him too. Where was everyone? Where was God?
I have no answers to these all too common issues. I could say that Jesus is the answer, which is true. But it is false, just the same. “Jesus will take away your pain. He will heal you.” True but lying in its intent. “He will not put you through more than you can bear,” quoted from scripture but so deceitful in real life.
Lay down your stones. I am not a heretic.
We make the truths of scripture, of life, a lie when we look at those truths as quick fixes, easy answers. Jesus does heal but it takes time, and faith. It is often a process where further pain is revealed. And what we can bear depends greatly on your perspective. It is also a function of failure and further attempts, unbearable initially, bearable upon revisitation.
We want the preacher to give a message that sends us home, patched up, ready to face the world. We want the show to make us feel better, good again. We want the miracles, the lottery, the breakthrough that makes our problems go away. And often they exist to cloud the reality of our journey.
You are not abandoned. God is there. Jesus did die to heal you of all your hurts and fears. But we must walk with Him. If it takes yelling and cussing, do it. HE WILL NOT ABANDON YOU! If it takes opening your heart up again, do it. HE WILL NOT ABANDON YOU! You will be hurt again. You will feel pain. Feel it. Know that you are alive. You are not abandoned.
In the end, and along the way, as you hold on to Him. You will see that He is good. His love really does endure forever. And you were not, are not alone.
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