My wife and I rush most of the places we go to. We’re always just a bit behind. But lately, I’m having trouble wanting it anymore. So much of my life has been about the destination, getting there. But many of the more recent nights, I’m finding myself just enjoying the sound of her voice. I like talking to her too but I really like to hear her.
I’m wondering whether God’s purpose for my life is not so much about what I get to be when I grow up but the time we spent on the way. The old Jewish people said it best. “May the dust of your Rabbi always cover you (or something like that).” They meant that we are to walk so closely with our teacher, spend so much time in his presence, that his dust covers us.
I’m questioning so much of my life right now. A lot of “what ifs” are bouncing around in my head. What if no one reads my work, or cares that I existed? Through it all, I have a feeling that I might be doing something right by simply talking to God, pursuing Him, listening for His voice, bringing my fears and failures to Him.
I think, in the end, when I hear, “well done.” It will not be because I did something great. It will be because I held His hand.
And that’s actually, really cool.