I sang these words yesterday, with a full heart, hands raised. Today my arms are limp and my heart is heavy. But the truth is still the same. I am Yours, Lord. All of me, all of my life is Yours to do whatever you want with.
Maybe it isn’t obvious, but I don’t have this thing figured out yet. Life happens so fast. I adapt and move, and then move again to adapt to more. Most of the time, I feel lost, overwhelmed. I look at the story of the lost sheep and how the shepherd goes looking for him. I can’t help but wonder how he gets lost over and over again.
I think about Mr. Incredible when he says, “Can’t the world just stay saved, for once?” Jesus, do you ask that about me? Yes, my eternal life is secure in Him. But what about my days here? Can’t I just stay saved, for once?
Living for Jesus is not for sissies. It is not for the faint of heart, those that desire security and comfort above all. It is more akin to riding a wild horse and the tighter your hold on it, the wilder the ride.
One of the things I learned from training horses is that the body’s natural tendency, when stressed, is to stiffen. Picture a board trying to move with the animal – not going to happen. Then think of jello, oozing down around the saddle, pliable, connected. I tend toward the board but God keeps squishing me to jello.
I don’t want to hold on. I don’t want to be stiff, unyielding. Crush me, mold me, touch me my God. For I have no joy, no peace, no life without You.