I speak with fear and trembling knowing that this could come out as condemning or condoning when neither is the intent.
Addiction is such a part of our culture, such a part of the lives of christians, non-christians. It knows no prejudices, no ethnic or geographical boundaries. It can not discern between rich and poor, intellectual, mental handicap, hollywood starlet or research scientist (you may insert your own idea of what the opposite of a hollywood starlet would be).
In Jeremiah, the people complained to him, when confronted with their sins, that they couldn’t stop themselves, “we love foreign gods.” I know in my own walk through addiction there is this feeling of fear coupled with the idea of not having my addiction to fall on when times are tough. “I’m only human. God knows my frame, that I am just flesh. And I can’t stop myself even if I wanted to.”
I have used these words and will here and now tell you that there is a lie embedded in these truths. Satan would tell you that you can not win, you can not beat sin in your life. Our own bodies scream at us that we need these things, we want them too much. We’re not strong enough. But it isn’t true.
“Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world.” I have a Savior, a Redeemer, a Hero that fights for me every day. He does not grow tired or weary. He is with me always, to the very end of my life. He will never leave me or forsake me. All these things are in scripture.
I find myself appalled that the people of Israel would have said that they loved foreign Gods. But, I have said the same by how I live.
Today I will choose to live like I love You, God. Today, I will choose to act on the power You have put inside me. Today, I will choose to be how You see me, not what I hear I am, not how I see myself.
Today, I will live for You.
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Oh, HOW I relate to this one!!!!!! Yes, to what you have said, but that is not all there is to it! This is an issue bigger than me – bigger than human! Only when I am one with Jesus can I be strong enough! Only now that He has truly done an impossible thing in me can I talk about it anywhere nearly correctly!! I am SO blessed that you sound as though you have found strength that I struggled for but could not find until I was much older than you. I am thrilled – THRILLED! – that I am where I am now, even though it is not all I want to be. Yet I am MORE THRILLED to know that you are already where I am at a much younger age. This means you have all these years left to write or in whatever way to enjoy and share our blessed Lord with great power and purpose! I love you and I bless you in Jesus’ name. Dad
Thanks for all your comments. God is strengthening me but I feel no confidence in it. I’ve been down this road so many times letting pride get in my way. Every day I put my armor on and go to war. Lives are depending on me. I may fail but don’t have the choice to quit. So I stand up and attack satan in the name of Jesus. Then I trust my King to lead and protect me. Somehow, none of this makes me feel stronger. It just makes my God look bigger.
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