Who wears the pants in your family?
It’s easy to look at life, at your job or ministry, your family, and question what is going on. I spend so much of my time asking God why something is happening and what it means for my future. I want to be happy and fulfilled in what I do. I want to be a man of faith, a good husband, a loving father. My family should see me as a voice of truth and reason in this crazy world we live in.
But all the while there is this dark undercurrent that I share with so few. I am a failure. I can’t do things right. I am stupid and a disappointment to myself and my King. He gifted me with so much and all I can do is complain, not trusting Him with everything I know that He is always good.
So the cycle continues, dominated by fear and anger, I push others away. I want something so badly that I lose sight of others, I lose sight of God. And in those moments of blindedness, I fall, I lose, I hate.
So what is the answer? Is there an answer?
This is what I think. My priorities are screwed up. When I lose focus it is conjoined to putting good things above God things. And what are the God things? Number one is my wife. Then comes my family. This is not a cliche. This is not a marriage seminar. This is just reality. Are things out of wack? Then I’m not putting God first and His priorities are not defining my priorities. And for all you pastors, leaders, ministers, deacons and elders, God does not care what you are doing as much as who you are loving. God doesn’t care how big your church is as much as He cares about you cherishing the woman He gave you to walk through life with.
So be the man. Lay your life down. Sacrifice your life. Give up your will, your plans, your dreams. Trust in the God who knows you and holds you in His almighty hands.
I’m talking to you, bitter worshipper. And God, I’m talking to me.