There are some things that I’m not sure about in the bible.
Paul talked about a thorn in the flesh, a messenger from Satan. Scholars believe that it was some kind of sickness, an ailment that kept Paul humble. Others say that it was a person. I’m not convinced that it wasn’t sin, a sin that he continually struggled with.
I don’t know what Paul was dealing with, but he believed it was from Satan and was there to prove that God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness. His Grace is sufficient. Nothing says that louder to me than my constant struggle with my flesh, sins that will not let go.
The greatest temptation in all of this is to quit. Never lead worship again, never touch the life of another child. It only makes sense that someone as messed up as I am should crawl in a hole somewhere and wait for death. It only stands to reason that I should never speak, never live.
Ah, but that is the voice of Satan. And he shouts it incessantly.
The writer of Hebrews had a different take. “Fix your eyes on Jesus, the AUTHOR and PERFECTER of our faith.” He will get us through.
So get accountability, people that you can share your struggles with. Pray, be in the word, sing, do not forsake your church. Stand against Satan and against his lies.
AND NEVER GIVE UP!!!!
The Healing Worshipper 
Matthew, I read lately something that i think goes with this. It’s from Amy Carmichael’s book,’Candles in the Dark’.
‘Feelings can be shaken and the fight can be fearfully discouraging, for sometimes we seem to be losing ground and all seems to be going wrong. Then the devil comes and paints glorious pictures of what might have been. He did to me–I can see those pictures still. But as we go on steadfastly obeying the word that compelled, we do become aware that it is all worthwhile. We KNOW it, we KNOW HIM with us, and that is life.
I am going to ask that the consciousness of His presence with you may be constant and very sweet. I know the difference that makes. But you are not a child in Him; you have passed the point where that is needful. You KNOW Him near, with you and in you. Joy though it be to be conscious of that blessed One, the great thing is not my feeling, BUT HIS FACT. So if there are fogs on the sea on any day or any night–still all’s well.’
Matthew, the Lord is bringing me to this place where He constantly is telling me to fix your eyes on ME and I have to because if I don’t all I see is my weakness. How wonderful to know our Lord takes those who are so weak and shows HIMSELF mighty through them.
I love you and am praying for you. You are such a blessing in my life!