Red Light, Green Light

So I’m sitting at this red light and boy is it ticking me off.  No, no…I hear ya’.  Everybody’s gotta’ sit at red lights.  My problem is that it stopped me when I really wanted to go.  And to top it off, I would’ve made it through that light if that grandma in the Buick would’ve gotten out of my way.  What? 

No, I don’t think they go to my church so it doesn’t really matter if I honked my horn and flipped them off.  At least I’m in front of that huge line up of incompetent, idiots. 

How do I know they’re idiots?  I saw their faces as I was passing them in the turn lane.  That last guy there, yeah the one right behind me, he has been saying some very inappropriate things to me.  I bet he’s not a christian. 

What’s my hurry?  I got work to do, places to go, people to see – you know the deal. 

Yeah, maybe they do have places to go too but if they do, why are they going so slow? 

I don’t know how fast they were going, couldn’t see their speedometers. 

Ummm….well….I was probably doing something around 60. 

The speed limit!?!  Nobody goes the speed limit and besides, the cops won’t pull you over unless you’re exceeding the limit by at least 10 miles an hour. 

How am I feeling?  What do you mean, “how am I feeling?”   I feel great, top of my game man! 

How’s my marriage?  What are you askin’ for?  My marriage is fine, we’re doing FINE. 

God!?  How’s God??  How’m I supposed to know?  Why don’cha ask him? 

‘Cause I don’t need to know how He’s doin’.  I guess He’ll let me know how He’s doing if he wants to.

I don’t really care whether you think I’m not doin’ good.  I don’t need your opinion.  I don’t need anybody’s opinion.

Man, when is this light going to change?  This is the story of my life.  All I’m trying to do is get ahead.  Get to the head of the pack and everything gets in the way.

Like what?  Like my kids.  Every time I turn around they have some problem, some issue.  What do they need from me?  I am only one man.  I can only do so much.  And my wife, sheesh, I work a tough job and as soon as I walk through the door, she hits me with her list.  No wonder I drink so much.  Hey, don’t tell her I said that.  OK?  And yeah, if it comes down to it, why can’t God just make things easier.  Why do I have to fight for everything I get?

Stop fighting?  Let go?  Are you crazy?  If God’s in control how come bad things keep happening?  My fault!?  MY FAULT?!?!  Typical!  When things are good it’s God.  When things are bad, it’s me.

Hey, I can’t talk anymore.  I think the lights about to change.  Yeah, yeah, I’ll call some time.

By the way…

Who is this?

Oh, hi honey….heh, heh….

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