Where is God When I’m Stupid?

I would like to say that the problems in my life have a deep psychological meaning, that they stem from the abuse that I experienced as a child or financial struggles that I face today.  It would be convenient to say that the distance I feel with God is due to fatigue or the stress put on me by my family.  But the reality is I’m a sinner.

My title for today is intended to be a play on words associated with the book, “Where is God when It Hurt.”  It is not intended to disrespect that book or the very real hurts that many experience and cope with.

But that isn’t my problem.  I just seem to do the wrong thing over and over again.  I am blessed by God and know His presence so closely that I sometimes sense His physical touch on my shoulder, my heart.  He has healed so many hurts from my past bringing forgiveness and new life.  And yet, I still fall.

Does He leave me during these moments of weakness and failure?  Does He stand back and “tsk, tsk”, shaking His head in disappointment that I can’t get things right?  And why did He choose me to be His child, His son, when He knew I’d be this way?

I don’t know the answers to these questions.  I know He must let us go to walk on our own like a parent takes their hands from a toddler, knowing it will fall but knowing more that it will never walk if it doesn’t fall.  I think there is an element of disappointment in my wilfulness and self-serving independence.  But there is, more so, an element of pride and joy over my tenacity and daily return to Him for strength and purpose.  And, though I truly don’t know why He chose me, I can rest in the fat that He did.  He knew everything and still scooped me up into His arms and called me His own.

He promised He will never leave me or forsake me.  He will never leave you.  He is right there with you in the storm.  Even when we’re stupid.


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