In October of 1987 I observed the prettiest smile I had ever seen.  It came attached to a girl.

It was at my sister’s wedding and this particular girl happened to be the sister to the groom.  Couple this with the fact that I was in the military and she was a staunch Mennonite left little doubt that I had no shot at this one.  It didn’t stop me from trying to talk with her and find out more about her.  But, in finding out more, I realized all the more how far out of reach she was.  The reality that she is now my wife doesn’t negate the miracle that she said yes.

The story of how she came to be mine, or I came to be hers, is not the critical issue for this discussion.  And please don’t take this as an intellectual exercise.  How I am shown to be a bitter worshipper is largely seen through the lens of my marriage.  It is essential for us to see our relationship with God mirrored in the relationships we have with all His gifts and none more so than the relationship with our spouse.

Do I trust Him?  Do I trust her?  Am I willing to lay my life down for Him?  Her?  Do I see Him as the enemy, always out to get me?  It is easy and “churchy” to say no.  But how do I treat my wife?  I guarantee you that if you think of your wife as a foe, you are looking at God the same way.  Is she the only resource you look to for your needs and desires?  Is she the passion of your heart?  It is by the provision of our Savior that we have our spouse and she is the answer to our needs, desires and prayers.  We trust Him as we trust in what He has provided.

I’m not equating God with my wife.  And I am saying the same thing to women as I am to men.  And I do understand that abuse happens, infidelity and neglect.  But if I am jaded and bitter because of what humanity has done to me, then I have made my God too small.  “Be of good cheer, I have overcome the world (John 16:33).”

He remains victorious, despite what I see, what I feel, what I hope for.  He is King in every area.  God, look deep into my heart.  Show me where I know the truth but live according to lies.  Lead me to lay down my life, take up my cross and live through Your resurrection.  And with all my heart I pray, let me live this way with her.